Fear of food
by Rin Likes Waffles
Summary: America is tired of being called fat constantly. Russia notices. fem!Russiaxfem!America. Rated T because of a bit of language.
1. Chapter 1

Food

The word gives me mixed feelings.

It disgusts me, and yet it still tempts me.

There once was a time I didn't think much of it.

Others called me a fatty, always eating

I figured they were right.

I figured I should change that status.

They wouldn't keep saying it.

I'd prove them wrong.

* * *

**America's POV:**

"And so THAT is my plan to decrease the number of illegal immigrants coming to my country!" I decreed proudly.

"I disagree," France replied immediately.

"Um," Russia began slowly, "So your plan is to lift Mexico's home up and drop it into Europe?"

"Yes!" I grinned.

"That is the dumbest idea you have ever put forth. Ever, aru," China sighed.

"You say that a lot," I grumbled at her.

England inserted, "You've been hanging around Poland too much, and it really is a stupid idea."

I sighed in defeat and sat down. Normally, I'd fight further for the passing of my idea, but today… I just didn't have it in me. All fight in me just felt like it left me, which is odd for someone like me. Russia seemed to notice this.

"Are you okay, America? You seem sick," she asked curiously.

I looked at her, "Uh, ah, I'm fine. Just fine. Yeeep. Doin' great." Internally, I face-palmed. That was very unconvincing. Russia wasn't convinced either, but she looked away, and watched England come out with a new proposal and France disagreeing right away. This caused England to start yelling at France, and the other woman coming up with witty (somewhat) sexual remarks to every statement. Soon, they were rolling around on the floor, pulling each other's hair and trying to hurt each other. Oh, love, what a strange thing it is.

"Um, well, if you ask me, England's plan might work…" I could have sworn I heard a voice from the corner, but I must have been imagining it. Nobody else reacted to it, after all.

The meeting droned on and on. My vision began growing blurry, and I felt light headed. While China was in the middle of speaking, I rose from my chair, and dashed out the door. I mumbled that I needed fresh air as I left. Kicking the door open, I dashed down the hallway, only to collapse halfway down. Footsteps sounded behind me, and turned to see Russia. The other nations were right outside the door, also looking concerned.

"America, you will tell me the truth, da? What is wrong?" she asked, crouching next to me.

"Nothing… Don't worry about it," my smile was forced; the Russian obviously wasn't pleased with my answer.

"You just collapsed on the hallway floor, and I don't think you can get up. Do not expect me to believe you are fine," her mouth formed a slight scowl, she wasn't happy, that was for sure. I couldn't tell her, though. There was no way I'd be able to bring myself to admit how self conscious I was, and how I was acting a bit reckless.

"I'm telling the truth, I just feel a bit light-headed! I need some damn fresh air or something…" I snapped, trying to get up by myself. I couldn't, so Russia offered me her hand. I hesitated, then took it and pulled myself up. I took a step forward, and another, and continued walking to the door at the end of the hallway. It felt like it was taking forever to get there. I slowed and leaned against the wall. Footsteps were all I heard, once again, Russia's footsteps. I passed out.

* * *

**Russia's POV:**

For the second time, I saw her fall. Shortly after approaching, I observed that she had passed out. _What to do, what to do…?_ I mused. Crouching down, I nudged her gently. No reaction. Jabbing her a bit harder didn't work either. "America~ Time to wake up~" I sang quietly in an attempt to scare her awake. Since none of my methods were working, I pulled out my phone.

**Taking America to hotel. Won't be back for rest of meeting.** I sent a text to England and hoped she would accept it and not try to take responsibility of America herself. Before she could come and stop me, I scooped up the other girl in my arms and walked out the door. Now it was time to get to my hotel. It was within walking distance, and America was surprisingly light, so I headed there on foot. Strangers gave me looks, but I ignored them.

After a while, I got to the hotel, America still in my arms. Awkwardly, I elbowed the button to open the elevator doors, and entered. Luckily for me, it was empty inside, so I carefully set my sleeping fellow nation on the floor. I pressed the '3' button, causing it to light up and the elevator doors began to close. We rose up two floors, and I lifted up America once the doors opened again.

I soon made it back into my hotel room, after a lot of difficulty opening the door. There was only one bed in my hotel room, so I decided if America slept much longer, I'd be on the couch tonight. I heard her roll over, and sat down next to her. She was peaceful when she slept, not the energetic, silly girl I knew better, always coming up with the oddest ideas. She looked… well, cute, but something was wrong. She seemed sad now, as though she played a happy façade when she was awake, and just couldn't hold it up when she was sleeping. It was wrong. I didn't want her to be like this. When she was happy, she was much more uplifting to my spirits.

Sighing, I moved her bangs out of her eyes and studied her face. She was very pretty, even though the rest of us always made fun of her, calling her fat and ugly. I felt a twinge of guilt, but I brushed it off. It probably didn't get to her that much, right? She usually laughed it off, or retorted with another insult right back at me. It couldn't bother her that much, right?

She stirred, and I moved her hand from her face immediately. Slowly, America opened her eyes, she looked up at me, and it looked like she was silently asking where she was. I watched her, not saying anything. I wanted her to explain what was going on, but it seemed like she wasn't going to until I prompted her. As I thought of what to say, her stomach growled.

It clicked in my mind.

"I haven't seen you eating much lately," I stated calmly.

Her eyes widened. I hit the target, obviously. "What of it?" she was trying to stay calm.

"When's the last time you ate something?"

**Author's Note: Tada~ My first RusAme fanfiction~ So I have a few things to say here. This will probably be a twoshot, I'm not sure I can make it any longer than that. I almost kept it at one chapter, but then I decided not. So if you haven't guessed, America has an eating disorder, the only problem is, I know nearly nothing about them. In the next chapter, I'll try to keep things vague, so I don't get anything wrong, but I apologize in advance if anything is. Also, I hope I didn't offend any Mexicans with the whole 'illegal immigrant' comment. I didn't mean anything rude by it, I love you guys. :3  
Well, see you in the next chapter~ Ciao~**


	2. Chapter 2

**America's POV**

_When's the last time you ate something? _

It took a moment for me to process her question. Had I been figured out?

"Haha, um, what do you mean?" I faked ignorance and stupidity. Maybe she'd be fooled?

"You heard me. When is the last time you've eaten food?" she clearly wasn't fooled. Dammit.

"Uh, breakfast, obviously?" I lied. Then, of course, my stomach growled. Fine, betray me again, stomach.

Russia shook her head. "I don't believe you, America," she stared at me. Her gaze was starting to confuse me. Why did she seem so worried? She shouldn't care about me, and yet, her eyes showed only concern. Frankly, I doubted she'd make fun of me, but a little part of my mind just told me to lie. Lying wasn't something a hero should do, yet, I keep lying. Some hero I was.

"Why do you care anyways? You hate me, don't you? You and the rest of the world, always yelling at me. So why do you actually seem to care?" I asked.

"Stop avoiding my question," she growled, not pleased that I was finding a way to move around it, to avoid answering it.

"I'll answer if you answer my question," I didn't really expect her to answer my question, so I decided it would be worth the risk to make that compromise. While she thought for a moment, apparently trying to phrase her answer, I pulled myself up so I was sitting upright.

She surprised me, again. "I care about your well-being, America, even if it doesn't seem like I do," she said curtly, "Now you have to answer me."

"You sure seemed to care about my health and well-being during the cold war, hm?" I desperately attempted to change the subject.

"Stop," she leaned forward, her eyes blazing. I backed up a bit; she was starting to scare me.

I mumbled quietly. There, I answered her. She didn't say how loud I had to be.

"Louder," she rolled her eyes.

I mumbled again, slightly louder.

"God dammit, Emily! Stop being so childish and answer me so I can hear you! I need to KNOW, and you acting like a three year old isn't telling me ANYTHING!" she exploded. My eyes widened. Russia never yelled. At one point, she said that in her country, they were never loud and yelled at each other. Everyone just hated each other silently until they died. Russia screaming like this was just… so weird. In addition, she used my human name. I guess she wanted to stress how serious she was, but we countries never used each others' human names unless we were related or very close.

"Six days," I mumbled, feeling a little ashamed. Shocked would be an extreme understatement for how she looked. Maybe since I was always eating, such a long time to not be eating was just weird.

"You need to eat, that's not normal. Please, eat something! Or I swear I'll take you to the emergency room right now!" she pleaded with me. I was looking for some sign of her making fun of me, but all I could see was worry.

"I wouldn't be able to keep it down. Anyways, since when are you so fucking concerned that I live?" I snarled, not convinced.

The other woman looked close to giving up. "Please. When will you see, America? When will you finally understand," she looked as though she was struggling not to cry, "that I love you?"

**Russia's POV**

Oops.

That was information I told myself I'd hide. Nobody needed to know that. It was my business. Slowly, I put my hand over my mouth, as though the action could pull back that last sentence. I knew it wouldn't work, however. America's eyes were widened, her mouth opened. Clearly, she wasn't expecting me to confess to her like that. My hands felt wet. Looking down, I realized I had simply forgotten to hold back my tears. Perhaps it would be best for me to take my leave now.

I turned and stood weakly, my legs shaking, when I felt something grab my hand. It was America. Sniffling, I turned and looked at her. She seemed to have gotten over her initial surprise and regained her composure. The girl tugged my hand, and because of her strength, I fell back onto the bed, next to her. Slowly, she raised her arm and brushed away the tears slipping down my cheeks. I watched her do so, and she grabbed me and pulled me into a hug.

At first, I was frozen. This was a big change in events. I was sure she wouldn't ever talk to me again once I confessed. If I ever confessed, that is. I hadn't ever been planning to tell her that, I had always wanted to keep it bottled up. I was always afraid she'd turn me down rudely, laugh at me. But, I guessed this meant... she didn't hate me. I pulled my arms around her waist, feeling a huge sense of happiness.

"Me… too…" I heard her mumble into my shoulder.

"Wh-what?" I asked, confused.

"I… love you… too," she said, looking up and making eye contact. I didn't believe her, until I looked closely at her eyes. Her eyes were something I trusted. Right now, they showed that she was being dead serious with me.

"Really?" I still couldn't be sure, "Why?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I don't know why, dumb commie," I smiled slightly at the old nickname, "but I just do."

Slowly, I leaned towards her, as not to surprise her. She seemed okay with me, so I leaned forward, and gave her a kiss. My face was burning, and I could feel America's lips curve upwards into a smile. Soon, air was needed, and we broke apart. Luckily, I wasn't the only one blushing. Her face had a red tinge to it, making her look even cuter.

"I'll… I'll go…" America said suddenly, breaking the long, slightly awkward silence.

"Go where?" I questioned, tilting my head slightly in confusion.

"I'll go to the doctors. If you are this worried, I guess this is pretty serious, and I should go there to see what they can do, right?" she explained herself, "I don't actually know what they're going to do, but I'll go if it makes you happy, all right?" she was blushing an even deeper red.

"Da, America, it would make me quite happy," I smiled at her. Not the usual forced, childish smile. This was my true smile that I rarely used, only when I was truly happy. I put my arms around her once again, giving her another hug.

**Author's Note: Please don't shoot me for updating so late! I wish I had an excuse. But I don't. I would say studying for exams, but I didn't actually study much, I'm just kind of lazy. I'm sorry if you're disappointed or don't like it, but if you give me rude comments, I will eat them, and that's not very healthy. Constructive criticism or finding mistakes would be LOVED, and I'll give you an Internet cookie. Thank you for reviews. :3 See you in my next story once I'm not too lazy to write it~ Ciao~**


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